House Wrecking Read online

  “Lauren, I didn’t know Baxter planned to off himself, or I would have paid the damn premium. We pay thousands of dollars a year and nothing happens. How did I know that the one month I go without insurance, Baxter would kill himself? It doesn’t really seem fair, does it? Anyway, I’m not so perfect like you, always paying everything on time and attending to every possible detail. Your expectations are a bit high to live up to, you know?”

  Lauren opened her mouth, and then shut it again. In front of the primary care practice, she opened the car door and scooped up her bag. Before she slammed the door, she met his eyes.

  “You’ve really screwed up this time.”

  Lack of Patience

  In the end, Sarah couldn’t wait a full week to roll out her plan with Charles. Charles had called upon her twice since the incident in the parlor, but she’d told James to convey that she wasn’t feeling well. Each time she sent him away, she grew more proud of how well her plan progressed. Five days later, she donned the simple lavender dress she planned to wear when she announced her pregnancy to Charles. Before leaving the house, she fixed her hair, checked her complexion powder, and pinched her cheeks in the hall mirror. Wrapping her shawl around her shoulders, she followed the dirt road toward the farmhouse.

  She approached the back door they’d used throughout their school years and saw Abby, Tim and Charles already gathered at the kitchen table. She considered leaving, but Abby saw her at the window so she had no choice but to go in. She sat in a wooden kitchen chair at the kitchen table draped with a stained red and white-checked oilcloth and grew impatient as Charles prattled on about his plans for the store in New Haven. Tim and Abby peppered him with questions. After twenty minutes of their annoying banter, Sarah rose from the table, “Well, good luck to you Charles, I’m sure you’ll need it.” She went out the back screen door, letting it slam behind her.

  Charles caught up with her, calling “Sarah wait.” She didn’t turn around. A few paces later, he loomed close enough to grab her arm, which she wrestled out of his grip. “Sarah, wait,” he tried again. “What’s wrong? What did I say?”

  “What did you say? It’s not what you said. I came over to discuss something important, and you ignored me.”

  “I…I’m sorry. I haven’t seen Abby and Tim for weeks and we had a lot to catch up on. I didn’t mean to ignore you. I’ve gone to your house twice to speak with you.”

  She stood silent with her arms across her chest.

  “Please don’t be mad. Tell me what you wanted to talk to me about.”

  Sarah hesitated a few seconds longer before blurting out. “Fine, I’m pregnant with your child.”

  Charles’s flushed face, which had yet to return to normal from chasing her, flamed anew. “Sarah, I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s a little late for apologies, would you not agree?”

  “Yes, of course, but… He ran his hand through his hair before he began again. “Are you sure? It’s only been a few days since we…”

  Sarah cut him off. “Yes Charles, I am sure. A woman knows these things.”

  “I didn’t mean to imply… Damn!” Charles said, allowing the two women strolling arm in arm to pass. “What should we do?”

  “I believe there is only one thing we can do.”

  Charles said nothing.

  Sarah rolled her eyes. “You’ll take me back to New Haven with you and the three of us will start a new life together.”

  “Your parents… what will they say?”

  “We won’t tell them. In fact, we won’t tell anyone. We’ll leave this awful town and its people behind. Oh Charles, it will be a new life.” She wrapped her arms around him, kissing him again on the lips.

  Charles pressed closer to her and wrapped his arms around her.

  Over his shoulder, Sarah smiled.

  Visit with Grandma Dorothy

  By the end of the week following Baxter’s death, Lauren and Jeff were still not talking, and Lauren realized how much she was enjoying it. She didn’t check with Jeff about what she was cooking for dinner. If the kids wanted chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese every night, she cooked it. Making only enough for the kids and eating scraps off their plates to fill the little hunger she had. She felt as if a weight was lifted when she scooped up Jeff’s unopened mail that he’d forbidden her from moving, and dumped it into a ribboned basket. She banged around the pots and pans until she found just the right one, without fear of annoying Jeff. She enjoyed the freedom from Jeff’s daily drama – the irate client that stalked them on the home phone when Jeff didn’t show up for his appointment, or the unpaid tax bill that kept her staring out the window for fear his car would be towed. The best thing of all was she didn’t need to come up with any excuses as to why she couldn’t have sex with him.

  She’d asked Jeff to contact an attorney, which he might or might not have done. They would both be financially impacted if Baxter’s parents’ sued them, but she felt oddly disengaged from this problem. She’d taken on the care of Jeff and his problems and issues for long enough. This time she wouldn’t bail him out.

  The relief would have been much more pleasurable, had Lauren not been married to the man who slept on the couch downstairs. Despite her instant adaptation to single motherhood, there was too much at stake for her to give up her marriage without at least trying to fix it. She didn’t want her Claire and Brian to grow up without a dad in the house like she had – just a couple of girls rather than a family like that of her school friends. While she could have lived without Jeff, the thought of their family breaking up was too much to handle. She knew they needed to return to their marriage therapist. They’d been on multiple occasions before - to assist them through a financial crisis and to regain some intimacy in their marriage. It always seemed to help - at least a little. But this time, she didn’t suggest it to Jeff. The mere thought of talking to Jeff about couples counseling exhausted her.

  On Sunday, Lauren packed off the children for a long-overdue trip to the nursing home to visit her grandmother, Dorothy and to assuage the building guilt since her last visit before the move. Jeff was busy working in his office when they left. He’d been sleeping there since the days following Baxter’s death, coming upstairs when necessary, but frequent enough that Claire and Brian didn’t notice his absence.

  At the nursing home, Dorothy was dressed and sitting in a chair by the window in her room. “Well hello,” she said. She didn’t address them by name, and Lauren remained unsure if Dorothy recognized them.

  “Hi Grandma, you look great.” Lauren said both by way of greeting and establishing recognition. “You remember Claire and Brian, right?”

  “Of course, of course I do. Come give your granny a hug.”

  Lauren nudged the children closer. She sat down on the chair next to Dorothy. Claire plopped in Lauren’s lap and Brian sat close to her on the edge of the chair. “How have you been feeling?” Lauren asked.

  “Very well, dear; thank you for asking. This place is so lovely, and the staff takes care of my every need. No need to worry about me. I’m doing just fine. How are you?”

  “Mom, can we go see the chinchilla?” Brian interrupted.

  “Yes, but stay together and only go to the recreation room.” Lauren smiled at Dorothy. “I’m so sorry I haven’t been here in so long. Mom told you I bought a new house, right?

  “Oh yes, Dear. I heard it’s lovely.”

  “Mom told me that you knew the lady who used to live in my new house.”

  Dorothy stared at her.

  “The Queen Anne in Westville,” Lauren prodded.

  “Oh yes, yes. If it’s the one I am thinking of, my friend Emily grew up there.”

  “Yes, I believe that’s the name of the previous owner – Emily Marvin. How did you know her? Were you ever inside?”

  “Oh goodness, it was so long ago.” Dorothy closed her eyes and rubbed her lips together, then opened them again. “I met Emily back in the forties, poor dear. Lovely girl though – very s
weet. We enjoyed each other’s company during those years. Your grandpa had gone off to the war and Emily and I worked together in the men’s furnishings department of the Edward Malley Company downtown.”

  “Right, I remember Malley’s. Mom used to take me there. I loved the bird cage by the restaurant and shoe department.”

  “Yes, the birds attracted visitors from quite a distance, but during the war there weren’t many men, so not much happened in men’s furnishings. No one had any money to spend anyway. Emily and I showed up whenever we were asked. We often went days without a customer. Poor Emily! It was hard on me with your grandpa gone, but she lived a tough life.”

  “Really – what made it tough?” Lauren inched closer to Dorothy and rested a hand on her arm.

  Dorothy took her time answering, as if she were reaching into the depths of her memory. “From what I can recall, she lost her father when she was quite young. Her brother also disappeared. The boy had gone off to school, but he never came home, and she and her mother spent their lives looking for him. I lost touch with Emily after the war, but I don’t think they ever found him.” Dorothy shifted in her chair then, and her eyes darted to the door. A nurse’s aide passed by and Dorothy raised a hand, but the aide passed without acknowledging her.

  Lauren ignored the gesture and pressed on, “Oh my God - how horrible. How did she manage it?”

  “Yes, well that happened a lot in those days. We all lost someone dear to us. My own father died when I was only fourteen.”

  “Sounds horrible.”

  “Yes. It was difficult for all of us. I lived through two wars, you know?” Dorothy’s eyes shifted again to the door, and then she closed them. She didn’t open them again until Lauren spoke.

  “With her father gone, how did they support themselves?”

  Dorothy stiffened. “I can’t quite recall. I believe they had a family business – a grocery, perhaps, but I’m not sure. Oh, and they had a tenant, I think.”

  “Maybe that’s when they split the house into a two-family,” Lauren offered. “They needed the money to live.”

  Dorothy hesitated. “Yes, that sounds about right. Well, dear, you better be getting on. I’m sure you and the children have better things to do than attend to an old lady like me all day.”

  “Oh Grandma, we love seeing you; don’t be silly. Did Emily ever marry and have a family of her own?” Lauren asked.

  “We lost touch after the end of the war and the men came back to their jobs at Malley's. Isn’t it about lunch time?”

  Claire and Brian charged into the room, followed by the recreation director who carried the facility’s pet chinchilla.

  “Oh no, I hope these two haven’t troubled you?” Lauren rose to greet them.

  “Not at all, but they thought you and Miss Dorothy might want to visit with this furry guy?” She offered the chinchilla to Dorothy and Lauren who each gave the beast a cursory pet.

  “Well, we better be off. Give your grandmother a kiss you two.” Lauren ordered the children. “Grandma, thanks for filling me in about the house. Can I come back soon? Perhaps you can tell me more about the life and times of Emily?”

  “I would love to see you again, dear. Come back anytime. I’m not sure I remember much more than what I told you today, but happy to share if something comes to mind.”

  Lauren packed the children into the car and got in behind the wheel. She pictured Emily in the grand master bedroom on the second floor – now converted to the living room. And she thought of the lost brother. Where could he have gone and why did they never find him? Dorothy seemed so dismissive towards the end of the story – perhaps she was just tired? An image nagged in the back of Lauren’s mind, like a lost dream or memory she couldn’t bring to the surface. She wracked her brain, but with the children chattering away in the back of the car, she couldn’t figure it out. She tucked Emily’s story away for the time being and announced to the children that they were going to Chuck E. Cheese as a reward for their good behavior in the nursing home. The children cheered, and Lauren pulled the car into gear. Once the children were engaged in games and activities, she would have time to figure out why a boy’s disappearance almost a century ago gave her such an odd and familiar feeling.

  House Plans

  Albert barely acknowledged Sarah when she arrived at the store to speak with Charles. What’s eating him, she thought as he left her at the counter to tell Charles that Sarah awaited him. Who cares. Soon we’ll be done with this place and low life’s like Albert, she concluded as Charles emerged from the back room, took his coat from the hook behind the door and adjusted his hat low over his spotted forehead. It seemed that a new boil rose on his forehead each hour that passed since Sarah told him that she was pregnant.

  Covered head to toe with a heavy, black cloak, Sarah met his gaze with her clear blue eyes, and then stormed out the door he held open for her.

  “What is it?” Charles asked.

  “It’s nothing.” They walked for a few minutes in silence. “I don’t understand why you asked me here if you were going to keep me waiting.”

  “Sarah, I told you I needed to spend a lot of time in the store this week. Inventory is low and I need to teach Albert how to order stock before it runs out. Otherwise, the people of Colebrook will be forever without coffee.” Charles laughed, trying to lighten her mood.

  “Why do you care whether or not the people of Colebrook have coffee or anything else? It won’t be our problem soon. We need to focus on our future now.” She took a step away from him.

  “Of course - let’s talk about our future. That sounds nice, doesn’t it?” Charles moved closer to Sarah.

  Her tone brightened as she agreed with Charles sentiment. “When do you think we can go to New Haven? It looks like Albert is getting the hang of the store.”

  “Well, I’m not sure, but I agree, I can only show him so much. The big issue is where we should live. I’ll go back next week and see if I can arrange for a few rooms in our building. I’m not sure anything is available, but I suppose we can always live with my father until we find a place of our own.”

  “Oh Charles, no! That will not do at all. We must leave here as soon as possible and we can’t start our family in rooms. We will need a proper house of our own. I ordered a booklet of house plans and had them sent to your aunt’s house. They should arrive within the next few weeks. I’m sure we will find something suitable to build.”

  Charles hesitated before responding. “Sarah, it takes time and money to build a house; neither of which we have in great abundance right now.”

  Sarah glared at him.

  “We can rent for now and then perhaps in a year...”

  “A year? Absolutely not. You can go now and get something started, and then come back for me in a week. How does that sound?”

  “I think it sounds ridiculous. I don’t have enough money to build a house until Aunt Rosemary’s estate is settled. And even if I had one hundred men on it, it wouldn’t be done for several months. We must be realistic.”

  Sarah took a step closer to him, and then seemed to change her mind. She turned and walked toward home, her black cloak catching in the wind behind her. Charles remained paralyzed again as Sarah stomped up the snowy landscape toward her Georgian home on the hill returned. The blackness of her cloak replaced everything white.

  Holiday Preparations

  Lauren backed away from the Christmas tree toward the easy chair she’d dragged into the middle of the room. The tree filled the tower of the living room with its branches touching the glass panes of the five surrounding windows. She stood admiring the tree for a few moments, and then sat. Claire sat on the floor next to her, handing Brian the ornaments. Like a dutiful soldier, he took each one and hung it on the same section of the tree. Lauren eyed that area now crowded with too many ornaments. Though she’d normally ask Brian to rearrange them, she was hesitant to disrupt the scene and settled farther in the chair. Their Rottweiler Carl lay curled in front of the fire
place, glancing up when someone spoke, settling his head on the floor between his paws when it was quiet.

  A few things could have improved this scene, including snow. It had been a mild fall. The temperature in New Haven dropped each week, but only rain came from the sky. Lauren directed her attention beyond the tree toward the darkening sky outside the windows. It was late afternoon, but the streetlights in front of the house had come on, warning all to get inside where it was warm and bright.

  Claire reached the bottom of the ornament box and got up to crawl into Lauren’s lap, leaving Brian to finish the job. Once again, Lauren considered redistributing the ornaments, but she kept quiet, knowing she’d fix it later. They had exceeded their budget for decorations this year, but Lauren was convinced the expense was worth it. The house seemed destined for a Christmas holiday celebration, and to decorate any less would not do it justice. They all needed a boost of holiday spirit to help them gain perspective after Baxter’s death and the effect it had on them since early fall. She was relieved to have Jeff away for a week at the American Psychiatric Association Conference. She needed time to think without having to deal with his neediness. She had hoped she might miss him.

  She lounged in the easy chair mesmerized by the tree and enjoyed the few moments of quiet with her children. Usually they were chattering, and often arguing. But at the moment, they were either entranced by the beauty of the tree sparkling with white lights as darkness fell on the room, or worn out from the substantial task of decorating a forty eight-hundred-square foot Queen Anne house for Christmas. Whatever the cause, she’d take the quiet for as long as it lasted. She didn’t hear Beverly climb the back stairs and come into the living room.

  “What’s going on in here?” Beverly boomed. “It’s so quiet; I thought you’d all gone fishing.”

  “Grandma,” Claire and Brian yelled, jumping off Lauren’s lap and rushing into their Grandma’s arms.